Return to previous page                                               Return to Arches
If you're stuck in a browser frame - click here to view this same page in Quantonics!

See Science News article titled, 'Kansas cuts evolution from curriculum,' p. 117, Vol. 156, 21Aug1999

Creationists are at it again. They are telling us now that they are Fundamentally Correct, and
they have all the answers on evolution.

Doug wrote this little bit of humor for a Deja News post. We thought you might like a tad

I understand Kansas has other changes in mind too, not just exorcism of evolution.

[Note to Kansans: Number 2, below, is not a multiple choice question.]

Kansas bubblegumans declare:

  1. Earth is indeed flat, not spherical/ellipsoidal as thought.
  2. Earth is center of:
    1. solar system
    2. milky way
    3. universe (we do not accept multi verses)
  3. Pi is actually 3.00000000000
  4. Celestial bodies peregrinate in perfect, deterministic circles around Earth.
  5. Square root of 2 is 1. (Pythagoras told us about 2.5 millennia ago
    that there are NO irrational numbers. He had Hippasus assassinated
    for discovering them. Thus Kansans have a God-given right to
    assassinate all who believe in evolution.)
  6. Learning is not an evolutionary process: We are born with everything
    we know. (Why does Kansas school board pre-exist in the first place?
    We are created, not evolved! :)
  7. Humans do not evolve from diploids to adults. It is a deterministic
    process. Cells do not divide, they are created, incrementally.
  8. Corn does not evolve from seed to mature plant. See 7.
  9. To believe in evolution is to make God smaller, not larger.
  10. Kansans are uniquely positioned to espouse Fundamental Correctness.
    We know what is true, absolutely. There is only one truth, and we
    intend to make sure you believe it! If not, we will eliminate you.

If you've spent any time in Kansas, you must know how things like this
can happen. Hotel rooms post signs saying: Do not clean quail in our
showers or bathtubs. No bathing of hunting dogs in hotel rooms, etc.

And what is that yucky green stuff along most road edges, especially
on curves? That's our state's best kept environmentally safe secret.

Not to worry, reader. Evolution will rid us of Kansas-think soon enough.



PDR - 24Aug99

Return to previous page                                               Return to Arches
(15Dec2001 rev - Add top of page frame-breaker.)